Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I Hate Feet

I hate feet.  Not my feet just your ugly ass feet.  Yes, I hate all your hairy toed, ingrown nailed, smelly, putrid, knobby toed feet.  The thought of them actually makes the hair on the back of neck stand up *shudders*.

Its amazing how teeny, tiny, cute, little baby tootsies...
(I have come to the decision that tootsies are terribly
cute but soon after the kid begins to walk, they turn
into nasty feet)

grow into some of the most disgusting growths at the bottom of your legs.

I don't just want to harp on the guys, because ladies your feet can be just as, if not worse. :p

I know I am not the only one with feet aversion.  There is even a '"I Hate Feet" facebook page with almost 80, 000 members who feel the same way I do.

Now I am not going to gross you all out with ugly feet pictures, you can Google "ugly feet" yourself.  But be forewarned, it is even worse than you can ever imagine (3" long yellow thick toenails, scabs, disfigured toes, boils, corns, scars, nothing that you hopefully have EVER seen or experienced before).  I am going to have feet nightmares for weeks now *shudders again*.

So a little bit of advice as the warm weather comes upon us, ladies and especially gentlemen, please go and get yourself a manicure this spring.  If you have ugly feet (which most of you do) please don't wear sandals. Ladies polish those toes.  Men never ever wear flip flops...yes I mean NEVER (even with socks).

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Mutants of the world REJOICE!!!

Something eerie is happening to my body.
I can't stop "IT".  
At first I was frightened.  
Now, I am learning to live with "IT".
I thought I was an anomaly.
Apparently others exist.  
It is a secret world.
I am letting you in.
My tonsils have grown back!


Unfortunately my mutation is something really gross. I had my tonsils surgically removed as a child but over the past little while they have slowly decided to reform in my throat.  

This makes me think will other parts of me start to regenerate.  Foe example, if I cut of my toe will it grow back. I know some animals can regenerate body parts such as lizards can grow back their tails and spiders can gown back their legs. However, I am not willing to test my self just yet. I need more proof.

Why couldn't I get a cool mutation or superpower?  

For example Jean Grey has telekinesis...

Or Wolverine's ability to heal himself...

I'd even take Mystique's ability as a shape shifter...

Besides they look totally hot too!

For now I just have the ability to regenerate my tonsils.  I will keep you posted if other forms of regeneration begin.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Red Hero to the Rescue

What little boy (or girl) doesn't want to be a superhero and star in their very own comic book series??? However, I don't think this what Riley, I mean Red Hero, had in mind when I asked him if he wanted to see himself as a comic book character. Red Hero still found the above amusing nonetheless. "COOL!!!" was how he put it.

Will Red Hero ever learn to make a kissy face?  Or will this be his doom?  Until next time same Bat-time same Bat-channel!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

ARRRRR! Me a Pirate!

So I am in the process of potty training the 2 year old.  We've got the pee down.  Well sort of as long as I tell bribe him to go sit on the potty every hour or so.  The poop not so much.  We've had a couple successful moments, followed by many high fives, candies and hip hip hooray's.  But for the most part it has been an utter mess.  I will spare you all the horror stories..

Tonight, just like any other night I sent Q to washroom.  He wanted cheesies and obviously I used this opportunity to my advantage.  GO MAKE PEE OR THERE ARE NO CHEESIES.  He willingly obliges and then proceeds to exit the washroom like this:

Tighty whities over his head, dancing and singing ARRRRRRR! Me a pirate, ARRRRRRR! Me a pirate ARRRRRRR! Me a pirate  His ear to ear grin shows how totally proud and amused Q is with himself.  The trick is not to laugh too much or this incident will happen EVERY single time he goes to the washroom.  If I send him about every hour or so, well you do the math!

So we had our little laugh, took a picture to remember the occasion and he sat down on the couch to eat cheesies.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Secret Crush

So I have had this obsession crush for a really long time.  One of those weak in knees type scenarios.  Not many people including my crushee knows about my crush. Well you see he’s quite a bit older than me by almost 40 years.  He is pretty much the same age as my grandfather.  Which too many of you that is just plain plain gross.  You make think that he’s way too old for me but I think he is perfect in so many ways.
  • He’s sexy
  • He’s a leader
  • He’s romantic
  • He’s adventurous
  • He’s not see this is wherein my problem lies

My crush is the one and only Captain Jean Luc Picard!

Whether he is saying, "Make it So" or "Tea Earl Gray Hot" or doing the infamous Picard manoeuvre (see below) everything that this man says or does emanates sexiness.


One of the best episodes is Chain of Command where Picard is captured by the Cardasians Even after being tortured day in and day out his will is never broken and he maintains his sexiness. So brilliant!

Picard should never wear pants...EVER!

So now my secret is out and you can all make fun of me now.  My name is Terrie.  I have a crush on Jean Luc Picard (not Patrick Stewart).  I am a trekkie and that makes me a huge geek.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Beasts Babies Oh My!

Why is it that every time a new baby is born I want another. Well, I am an Auntie again for the second time...YAY! It is very exciting but at the same time I am having baby pangs. My uterus is saying over and over again FEED ME FEED ME FEED ME. I keep telling it soon NO WAY or later NEVER AGAIN.

You see my uterus seems to completely forget about the gigantic beast that will overtake my entire body. From the insatiable appetite to the swollen feet to eventually your stomach becomes a sort of resting table for your boobs. Hair starts spurting from places that you didn't even think hair could grow and your boobs start leaking strange fluids that you thought would only happen after birth. No not very pretty.

Pregnancy does have its benefits though and by that I mean the food. I ate everything and anything I could get my grubby paws on. Wasn't all just just ice cream and ribs though. I also couldn't get enough fresh fruit and lemonade.

The Beast

My beast gained 50 lbs and the baby weighed 9 lbs. I have no clue were the other 41 lbs went too. I thought for sure I was going to have a world record for the largest baby born in the world. But alas that wasn't the case. I single double handedly ate, drank, inhaled scarfed down every single pound gained.

So when my baby pangs start tonight after meeting my nephew, I will remember all the bad things about being pregnant and hopefully my brain will overpower my uterus....maybe, hopefully, with any luck....oww the pangs they hurt!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Rocket Queen

Me circa 1993ish

There has been a lot of Guns N Roses talk with the concert at the John Labatt Centre this week. So the nostalgia has set in. GnR was one of my favorite bands growing up. Appetite for Destruction was one of the first cassette tapes (yes cassettes used to be all the rage) I ever purchased. I can't believe my mother even let me purchase it but I don't think they had those parental advisory stickers on albums back then.

I was so obsessed with the band I skipped school one day just to go to HMV and buy the Use Your Illusion's I & II. Just picture a bunch of very young high school kids, sitting on the tiled floor in our kilts and blazers (yah I went to catholic school) outside of HMV. All singing GnR patiently waiting to get our nicotine stained and skull ringed fingers on the first copies (btw I haven't smoked in years and think it is absolutely vile...BLAH!). Then we saw the store clerk with a key. Everyone makes a mad rush and starts jockeying for position. The clerk finally slides the key in the lock "click" and he starts to open the sliding doors. GnR's new album is blasting on the speakers in the background and the dash is being made to the display.

With my heart palpating I get both my copies and proceed to the checkout realizing that I have no way to listen to Axl's sweet voice or Slash's amazing guitar solos or even Duff's deep melodic riffs on the bass. So, there is no other choice. We park ourselves outside of HMV listening and savoring the music until security kicks us out and sends us back to school.

Here is Axl singing one of my all time fav's , looking glorious in his white spandex shorts and NO ladies and gents there is no sock in there! But that is a whole other story...